Every morning when I check my email I find between 7 and 9 emails from Dearreader.com. In each one of those emails is a column written by Suzanne Beecher. Last week, on the 7th, she wrote about an experience she and her husband had driving over the Sunshine Sky Bridge over Tampa Bay, FL. The Sunshine Sky Bridge is a toll bridge, and this time, the car in front of them paid their toll. As you might imagine, they were so overjoyed by someone giving them a Random Act Of Kindness, that they repaid the gift on their way back, paying for the car behind them.

Suzanne’s column got me thinking about acts of kindness. For me, my acts of kindness towards friends and family come in the form of cards. Every once in a while I send out cards to various friends and family, just to say Hi and that I was thinking about them. I try hard to keep in touch and extend my hand of friendship, because those people are very dear to me and no matter how much time has lapsed, they will always be dear to me. The giving and sending of cards or letters via snail mail, regardless of the holiday or occasion, has been on my heart for many years. Unfortunately, it seems our society has forgotten how special and how big an impact the simple act of sending a card can be.

Since the implementation of the internet, we have lost the art of personable contact. We only have time for email – and even then we have reduced ourselves to shorthand and fragmented sentences. Where has the time gone? There is nothing quite so touching as seeing a friends’ handwriting on a card. Simply seeing that handwriting says to the recipient, “I care enough about you that I took the time to do this”. So often these days we are too busy to even eat a decent meal. Who in their right mind has the time to go to the store and buy a card? Nevermind make your own – there’s no way! We have lost the importance of PEOPLE. There is nothing more important than caring for your neighbor, your friend and especially your family. Three simple words – each one syllable, 4 letters or less – can reduce even the thickest brick walls to dust. “I love you” or “I miss you” have a tremendous impact, if we would only make the effort.

I am not writing about this to guilt you into buying my handmade cards (though I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to!). No, I am writing this because it is dear to my heart. I understand our busy lives – believe me – and I can even understand not knowing what to say or how to say it. Those who don’t feel they have the creativity or tools to create their own cards – I can understand that, too. With each of these excuses, though, I also have a rebuttal and a solution.

“I have no time” Margaret Cho said that “if we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea the debth of love’s reach”. These days, simply giving up some of our valuable time to someone else is phenomenal. And yet, while your time may be limited, you still obviously have time to surf the internet for a while. You probably even have time to sit down and watch your favorite television show or go to a bar or club in the evenings or on weekends to unwind from a long week. You have time to shop, time to eat, time to shower, time to sleep. Truly all it takes is about 3 minutes to sign a card and address it. 5 minutes if you put an extra note on the card. You can buy the card while you are grocery shopping these days, or online while you are checking your email. Albert Schweitzer, a French philosopher and physician said “You must give some time to your fellow men. Even if it’s a little thing, do something for others – something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it”.

If it seems silly to go out to get just one card every time someone has a birthday, or loses a family member, or is having a baby then I would suggest you stock up on cards. Many places these days are selling packs of cards that have a variety of occasions and greetings. Sign it and address it while you are watching tv, checking your email, or eating dinner. The post office these days has automatic postage so you don’t have to wait in line to get one stamp from cranky postal workers. Soon I will be putting together card sets – with boxes so you can have a place to put your cards until the urge arises to send one out – with a variety of occasions and themes for anything you might want to send a card for.

“I have no idea what to send” Understandable. There are tons of designs, colors, themes, poems, greetings, occasions out there for cards – and tons more personalities for each person in your life. How do you choose the perfect card? Seneca, a Roman philosopher, politician and dramatist said “The spirit in which a thing is given determines that in which the debt is acknowledged; it’s the intention, not the face-value of the gift, that is weighed”. You may not have a creative bone in your body, but if you simply think about the person – think on why you want to send this card to them, then think on what you would want/need to hear if you were in their shoes – you will find the right thing to send. Like Seneca stated so eloquently, it isn’t the face-value of what we give, in other words it’s not how much money we spent or how big it is, it’s the intention and spirit in which it is given. It’s the thought that counts, in other words. If you have an idea of what you want, but can’t find it, create it! If you can’t create it – find someone who can. I love doing custom projects all the time and if you want to send someone a card, but can’t find what you are looking for, talk to me – we’ll find it.

If you twist Seneca’s statement around by just a couple words – “the spirit in which a thing is NOT given determines that in which the debt is acknowledged. It is the intention – no the face-value of the gift that is weighed”. In other words, not giving the gift, exusing your self from giving the gift makes the recipient (or not as the case may be) feel that much worse.

My father passed away suddenly two days after Christmas this year. As a life-changing event, all of my friends and family were notified. In response, I received 2 cards – one from a friend and one from my husbands’ boss, 2 phone calls – one from my cousin and one from my sister-in-law, and I can count on one hand the number of emails I received. I’m not saying this to make anyone feel guilty or defensive or make this into a pity party by any means. Only to say, I know the full impact of NOT doing the thing. The negative impact of NOT doing something as simple as sending a card, especially with something major like a death in the family, a baby, purchasing a house, is more damaging than anyone can know unless they have been there. My healing process has been dramatically effected by my experiences this year. And while I do not hold any grudges against any of my friends and family, I have an increased longing to express and give what I can of myself.

And I urge you too, faithful readers, if you know someone who is grieving, going through a rough time, in need of some encouragement, or if someone has been on your mind for a while, send them a quick card just to say you were thinking of them, or your heart is with them, or simply that you miss them. You have no idea the impact of that simple gesture. Pubilius Syrus (100BC) said it perfectly: “A gift in season is a double favor to the needy”.

My gifts and passions lie with my cards (and albums) so that is what I have to give. My husband made the comment to me today that I ought to put my postage where my mouth is, so to speak. So I am putting a challenge to myself – because I don’t want anyone to feel what I have felt – to set aside any inhibitions or fears and give of myself what I have. Sir Winston Churchill said “We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give”.

“Thanks for reading with me. It’s so good to read with friends.”